Holy Tuesday, 7 April, ‘Church Without Walls’ blog: Love and Suffering

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Introduction: Light a candle; come before God in stillness. Open your hands and your heart to him. Begin this reflection using these words:

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you,

Because by your holy cross
You have redeemed the world

Readings:

A reading from the Gospel according to Mark:

At that moment the cock crowed for the second time. Then Peter remembered the Jesus had said to him, ‘Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.’ And he broke down and wept.
Mark 14.72

A reading from the Gospel according to John:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3.16

Reflection: Love and suffering

Have you noticed how the people and things you love the most are also the source of your greatest suffering? I’ve been reflecting on the close link between love and suffering, especially as both words are encapsulated by the word ‘Passion’.

Love is a beautiful, desirable, multifaceted, enriching thing. Something which we all desire and pursue in our lives. Something without which our lives would be bland and colourless, lacking in purpose and value.

Yet it is true to say that if we love and are loved, we also suffer. Love and suffering go hand in hand. What do I mean by this? I mean that if we love somebody, we are also exposed to being hurt by them. If we couldn’t care less about a person, we are much less likely to be hurt by their words or actions or leaving or betrayal.

An over-used phrase, especially in Personal Statements and CVs, is ‘I am passionate about...’. But what are you really passionate about? What is it that you love and are prepared to suffer for?

I’m passionate many things, but these three are at the top of the list: 

1. My family and friends.
2. My relationship with God, and my vocation which offers opportunity to invite people to encounter God and to walk with him. 
3. Enhancing and investing in people’s Mental Health and wellbeing.

These three things are intertwined like a three stranded chord. I love and am passionate about them; I am inspired to action by them. Yet each of them, in different ways, exposes me to suffering.

When I reflect on the Passion of Jesus, particularly during Holy Week leading to the crucifixion of Jesus on Good Friday, I am moved by his commitment to endure huge suffering: suffering because of the betrayal of his closest friends; suffering which cost him his life. He suffered and was willing to walk the way of the cross because of his great love for us:

‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten son (to suffer and die), that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.’
John 3:16

During this time of Covid-19 lockdown or isolation and for some, death and bereavement, we are forced to think about the things and people we most love and are prepared to suffer for. The Coronavirus beams the spotlight on our priorities and values, some of which, we are beginning to recognise, need to change. What really matters, when all is said and done, is not whether we have been able to buy everything we want and expect. What really matters is how we have loved and invested in ourselves, our family, our friends and our community. What really matters is our love for and relationship with Jesus who loves us and who gave his life that we may live abundant lives for eternity. 

Music and prayer:

St. Teresa of Avila wrote a beautiful poem that has been used as a prayer and set to music throughout the centuries. It is simple, which is why many pray it in times of distress. If you or a loved one is feeling afraid, anxious or alone right now, consider praying this prayer, opening your heart to God’s loving presence and inviting his help in your hour of need. You may also like to write a prayer of your own.

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices

A musical meditation on the Prayer of St Theresa, by Margaret Rizza, ‘Let nothing disturb you, God is enough’ can be found here

For another very beautiful musical expression of the Passion of Jesus, taken from the gospel of St Matthew listen to: Bach's St Matthew's Passion here 

Closing Prayer:

Lord Jesus, as Peter betrayed you,
you experienced the double agony of love rejected and friendship denied:
be with those who know no friends and are rejected by society.
You understood the fear within Peter:
help us to understand the anxieties of those who fear
for their future.
To you, Jesus, who gazed with sadness at your lost friend,
be honour and glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit,
now and forever.
Amen.

(Stephen Cottrell, Walking the Way of the Cross, CPH 2019)