"Be my Valentine"

The 14th February is, of course, St. Valentine's Day. That occasion when thousands of cards are exchanged, presents given and intimate meals take place between couples in celebration of their romantic love. Quite why this obscure Christian martyr from the early 3rd Century has come to be associated with romance is far from clear. Valentine himself was a priest or bishop of Terni in central Italy and he met his end during one of the many persecutions carried out by the Romans. The earliest records about him date from about 200 years later when a church was built in his honour in Rome, and even then his supposed miraculous acts are somewhat obscure. Why he came to be associated with a celebration of lovers is no  clearer. There is a legend that while in prison awaiting his execution he wrote a letter to the daughter of his jailor signing it "From your Valentine". More plausible is that the traditional date of his martyrdom occured at the time of the Roman festival of Lupercalia (on the Ides of February), which was a celebration of health and fertility, and which often resulted in some very raucous goings on indeed. Commemorating this saint at this time could, therefore, have been an attempt  by the early Church to deflect interest away from carnal desire on to something a bit more restrained. To an extent that has been succesful as Valentine's Day is, to a degree at least, about tenderness, affection and romantic love.

One might imagine that the bible does not have much to say about this kind of thing, but nothing  is further from the truth. There are many stories about love and affection, and one book in particular, the Song of Solomon, contains some very passionate poetry indeed:

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine."  (Songs 1.2).

"How beautiful you are, my love, how very beautiful!" (Songs 4.1).

What we need to remember is that God cares about us in every aspect of our lives, and that includes personal relationships. He wants them to be fulfiling, nourishing, encouraging and worthwhile, and there are plenty of examples in the bible of relationships and marriages that are not like that as warnings about what can go wrong.

At the moment we are in St.Albright's looking at the recent report of the Church of England called Living in Love and Faith. It is an examination of Christian teaching and learning about identity, sexuality, relationships and marriage, and we have had some very interesting discussions on these subjects in our small groups. The Church has recently given approval to the blessing of same sex relationships, and the bishops will be commending prayers for use in such situations for parishes to use as they wish. This then is an affirmation of the importance of loving committed relationships, even though they may be  between people of the same gender. The subject remains controversial in the church and the debate about this, especially concerning  marriage,  will no doubt continue.

What the debates around Living in Love and faith reveal, however, is that love between individuals is a serious business and one which is of immense importance to all of us. The problem with some of the aspects of the current celebration of Valentine's Day is that it can emphasise the superficial and romantic over the more deeply caring and devotional aspects of love. That is probably not going to change, and there is nothing wrong with the exchanging of cards and flowers as love tokens, but we do need to remember the importance of  long-lasting, loving and committed relationships.

Tony Bushell